literally had 100 drinks last night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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