I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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