I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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