So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I got inside last night via doggy door
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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