i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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