so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she peed on how many people?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
