Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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