Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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