I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
