drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
50% drunk capacity currently
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
