Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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