the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
