FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
