you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
