I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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