Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
