we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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