there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I love having hate sex.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
