so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
