sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
