Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
wow bdsm is so cute
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
