What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
