You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
