I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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