I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
