My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
