i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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