he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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