Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
only you would photoshop your dick
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
