I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
