god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
