dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
