bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just high enough for therapy.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
