Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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