he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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