life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
