Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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