I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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