You don't have asthma, your pregnant
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
