yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
two words: eviction party
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
how does that bad decision feel?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
