So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
