Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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