This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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