We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
