i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
