her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
