none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sorry about my life...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
