You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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