Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
