I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
